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Whenever I'm at a really full blackjack table, I start to wonder, "Where does 'crowded' end and 'frottage' begin?"

Living: St. Louis Missouri US
Staying: The D
Playing: Video Poker - Double Bonus Poker

Ratings & Reviews

Paris Las Vegas

Paris Las Vegas

This place is what it would look like if they built a Disneyland in Paris! Wait, what? They did? Hmph. Well then it's nothing like that at all. But I still like the kitsch here. If you go, be wary of the big plastic Eiffel Towers that they fill with red slushy at Gustav's Bar. I heard a bartender admonish a customer that when condensation forms on this particular vessel, it gets slick and will slide down your hand and cut you with its sharp plastic edges. Sacre bleu!

Mandalay Bay

Mandalay Bay

I like the smell here. Snnnnifff, mmmm parrot farts. Given its numerous celeb-chef helmed restaurants, one of the best pools in Vegas, a fantastic sports book, and a cool rock club, this place should be so much more than it is. Unfortunately, the sum of its parts is a noticeably neglected MGM Resorts International joint, just like the rest of 'em.

Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas

Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a terrace. Sure, there are occasional housekeeping issues here. Yes, there are packs of heel rats and boys with faux-hawks in filligreed t-shirts. But there's also a lot of great bars, lounges, and restaurants in a beautiful setting. I freaking love China Poblano. And room service on a private terrace overlooking Lake Bellagio is an experience unlike any other. Fave.

The D

The D

Impossible not to love Derek Stevens' vision for this place. The former Fitz has been totally refreshed and features cheap drinks and low limits, with a friendly staff and a retro vibe. You'd have to try real hard not to have a good time here.

MGM Grand

MGM Grand

I won a monster $350 hand-pay jackpot on a Piggy Bankin' slot machine here, so this place will always hold fond memories for me. Plus, I got propositioned by a hooker who was wearing a mens Fruit of the Loom v-neck undershirt as her top. That was quite a night.



Formerly a boxcar, downgraded to a deuce, thanks to the choking influx of d-bags here for XS and Surrender, not to mention Encore Beach Club. This place had a very brief run as the creme de la creme, before The Steve decided to alienate his elderly (read: over 30) customers and cater directly to the young and heavily leveraged.

Wynn Las Vegas

Wynn Las Vegas

The center of dance music culture. Or whatever they call themselves now. Man, this used to be a classy joint. Pity.

Ten Things

1: Be with you
2: And may God's Love
3: Check ignition
4: Engines on
5: Commencing countdown
6: Ground Control to Major Tom
7: And put your helmet on
8: Take your protein pills
9: Ground Control to Major Tom
10: Ground Control to Major Tom

My Posse

chuckmonster    bighoss    vespajet    dave702    jinx73    missmonkay    denvergambler    toastcmu   


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#VIMFP-tucky Derby, here we come!

Shouted on Tuesday, 17th September 2013 by BigHoss

Cinnabons are your new version of crack, sir! #VIMFP

Shouted on Friday, 14th September 2012 by toastcmu

Most of what you do is illegal is some states.

Shouted on Friday, 14th September 2012 by Chuckmonster

VT just wouldn't be VT without the resident goofball

Shouted on Thursday, 13th October 2011 by DenverGambler


Shouted on Thursday, 14th July 2011 by coolchrissy

Mmmm... duck tongues.

Shouted on Tuesday, 7th December 2010 by BigHoss

Jack talk Thai good!

Shouted on Wednesday, 8th September 2010 by jinx73

Keep it up. Your stuff has been hilarious all week. You've got to be in it for the big prize.

Shouted on Monday, 9th August 2010 by BigHoss

If you need another lazy person to help with the TA parody, sign me up. As long as I really don't have to do anything.

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Do you think that Thesasaurus is going to bite me?

Shouted on Saturday, 17th July 2010 by Chuckmonster